Sunday, October 08, 2006

Surviving Infidelity

Is Forgiveness Always Divine? by Sean Carter

A child takes birth and brings joy in the life of everyone with his smile. He is always happy himself and at the same time he makes everyone happy. As he grows older he experiences sweet and bitter incidents that encircle his life. The sweet experiences of life remain cherished.

But when someone looks back upon the bitter ones, he is frustrated. And he is keen to punish the people responsible for adding bitter experiences in his life. He wants to make their life bitter too. But such grievances do not help others in rectifying themselves. Rather they become more aggressive.

We may possess grievances against many persons, and that too, may be for a number of reasons. You may be angry on someone for insulting you. Again you may want to put someone in prison for stealing your jewelry. May be these are valid reasons to be angry. But how far are we benefited from possessing grievances against others? Anger not only destroys others, it destroys us. Anger is fatal, forgiveness is rejuvenating.

However, forgiveness is an emotion that evolves from within a person. It can not be imposed. We can only forgive a particular person for his wrongdoing if we sincerely love him/her. Perhaps that is the reason why we can forgive our adolescent son when he is a little arrogant but can never do the same for our servant.

Lovers forgive infidelity of their partners. Why do they do so? They do it out of love. Some may say that "If we forgive our unfaithful partners, we would be taken for granted. Besides, our self respect is important." May be that is quite true. But if we never forgive our partners, we may deprive ourselves of affection and care that can be ours. When you forgive him/her even after he/she is unfaithful, you give him/her an opportunity to be happy. Simultaneously, you give yourself a chance to be happy too.

Surprisingly, forgiveness is something quite unpredictable. Perhaps most of the human emotions are. I personally know of a woman who was orphaned in her childhood and used to stay with her Uncle. He despised her for being a burden on the family. After she grew up, she complained that she had always been a neglected child. In some way she wished to punish him. But after some time her Uncle met with a heart attack and passes away. Sometime later she forgave him.
We may wonder why did that woman forgive her Uncle after his death? Did she feel sympathetic about him? Or did she forgive him because there was nothing she could do? I feel that would remain an unsolved mystery.

But from the above incident we can infer that forgiveness is an emotion which is influenced by circumstances. Quite often we possess grievances against a person when he is alive but eventually forgive him after his death.

However some argue that forgiveness is a sign of weakness. A person forgives a wrongdoer when he fears the latter. I feel forgiving someone out of fear may be better termed as compromise. This is because when you forgive someone out fear you look for something in return. If we forgive a person fearing that he/she may be cause us more harm otherwise, that would be for own benefit. But forgiveness is selfless. It never looks for consideration. Perhaps the greatest instance of forgiveness is depicted in Bible. Lord Jesus forgave the people who crucified him. He suffered the pain in silence. Did Jesus get any benefit out of it? No. Jesus did not get any benefit from the pains, because he never wanted anything. As I said, forgiveness is selfless.

Jesus died. But he became immoral in the minds of his followers. Forgiveness has always been regarded as a virtue on the part of the forgiver.

In the play "The Merchant Of Venice" William Shakespeare describes forgiveness. A few lines are quoted below. "The quality of mercy is not strain'd, It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest: It blesseth him that gives and him that takes."
The above words describe forgiveness. It is a virtue that blesses everyone. It purifies our heart, it purifies our soul. It makes our lives sublime.

About the Author
Sean Carter writes on holidays, Forgiveness and events around the world. He also writes on family, relationships, Christmas, inspiration, religion, love and friendship. He is a writer with special interest in ecard industry. He writes for 123greetings.com. He also writes blogs on Motivational Speaker & Substan
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Surviving Infidelity

Wednesday, September 27, 2006